The First Step
In the dark, debauched, sorrow-filled world of addiction, individuals find themselves hazarding to break free from addiction with the hopes to transition into a state of recovery. I have met many of these courageous individuals who have braved the storms of uncertainty in a bid to find—a commonly used phrase amongst those in recovery—a life worth living. There is something good and right when you witness firsthand a person digging deeper than ever before to put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. It is not easy. For some, maybe most, it is near-impossible (it seems), and that’s to say almost nothing.
The Compromise
If you spend enough time in the crowd with your finger on the pulse, you will, without a doubt start to pick up on all the catchy phrases that get flung around amongst members of recovery communities. All the one-liners. All the “right things to say” when you’re in group setting and sharing your war story. Much of this language has developed over time. Sadly, it seems the meaning and motivation of these words have meandered far from where they came from and no longer carry with them the weight they once did when the God of the Bible was at its core. Over time—I believe—compromise has wriggled in as a result of varying approaches to the notorious 12-step material depending on who it is that facilitates the group. In short, God has been replaced with god. One (critical) aspect of what it is I write about is certainly worth laying out for your consideration. There is an understanding that there is no possible way of managing, let alone breaking free from addiction in one’s own strength. This couldn’t be more true—and so, there is high emphasis on finding a higher power; a power greater than one’s self that might come to the rescue in times of need.
Many people associate the God of AA with the Christian God. And while many churches do offer space for 12-Step meetings, the steps themselves are not specifically religious in nature. In other words, they aren’t associated with a certain type of faith or church. The god in Step 3 is your own personal higher power. And if you aren’t specifically religious in nature, Step 3 simply requires you to decide what (any) higher power you can submit to. In some cases, it’s simply a benevolent universal energy force, for example. If that’s not unhelpful enough, let’s continue on.
All Inclusive
It is a problem when a higher power need only be a “god of our own understanding”— another one of those catchy phrases or statements that lives within the confines of these environments that you’ll hear regularly. However, at this point, might we shift our focus from just the precious individuals that make up recovery communities and consider that we all are susceptible to thinking that falls short or distorts the truth. So let’s move on from thinking that this is exclusive to those struggling with addiction as per drugs and alcohol. Let’s try (hard) not to be the person that stands in church elbowing his neighbour telling them to “listen up, this is for you!” It could be for you too.
Beautifully Imperfect
Humans are a stunningly beautiful creation to behold. Indeed we are His creation, it says in Genesis 1:27 (English Standard Version, 2001), “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” It says in Ephesians 4:24 (English Standard Version, 2001), “Put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” As we live more into the fullness of these words, the process reveals to us His beauty in us, but it also exposes to us our imperfections and just how flakey and incredibly inconsistent we are, to say the least. And so to offer as a solution to a matter of such grave proportions (pun intended), that we, flakey and inconsistent, need only to come up with a god of our own, a “god of our own understanding”, I would say is a toxic joke. No, it’s worse; it is deception.
The Deception
The Deceiver has wriggled himself in and he did it by lodging himself in statements like, “let’s be a little more inclusive”, or “we don’t want people to feel left out”, or “whatever works for you”, or “hey, you do you.” We need a God that is unchanging and unwilling to budge to our feeble requests that come only from a place of me, myself, and I. We need a God that does not bow to a people unable to see beyond the temporarily inconvenient aspects of the bigger picture, and Who is willing to put us in our rightful place for not just our own good, but the good of the bigger picture. For the good of the Ancient of Ways. We need a God that will remain when we do not. The “god of our own understanding” does not, cannot, show up because the framework around your god, my god, his god, her god, is more often than not as dead as a stone on the road and holds no resemblance to the Living God.
The type of thinking that supports the idea that we are not only able to, but instead encouraged to fashion for ourselves a “god that works for us” supports the idea that the universe came into being five minutes before we arrived on earth, and will surely no longer exist once we’re gone. This kind of thinking if not supports, is funded by the very idea that we are the centre of the universe. There are two ways to forsake God. The first, it is to believe that He doesn’t or has never existed. The second, it is to make up our own gods or to pursue a version of God that suits us but is not at all an accurate representation of Who God says He is.
No One’s Home. No One Paid Attention
I think of Elijah and the prophets of Baal, and the ridiculously embarrassing display that took place on the summit of Mount Carmel when Elijah challenged the Canaanite priests to seek fire from their god Baal to burn up a sacrifice. This is a portion of story that Christians often chuckle about, almost arrogantly, but should we pause for thought and consider the story with humility, our hearts should break. I have seen too many dancing around, crying out to a god of their understanding, to a god who they themselves have fashioned and forged that simply leaves them exposed and vulnerable. 1 Kings 18:20 (English Standard Version, 2001) says:
“And they took the bull that was given them, and they prepared it and called upon the name of Baal from morning until noon, saying, “O Baal, answer us!” But there was no voice, and no one answered. And they limped around the altar that they had made. And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, “Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.” And they cried aloud and cut themselves after their custom with swords and lances, until the blood gushed out upon them. And as midday passed, they raved on until the time of the offering of the oblation, but there was no voice. No one answered; no one paid attention.” (See full story in 1 Kings 18:20-40).
No one paid attention. This should break our heart.
He Does & He Is
Elijah did not have a god of his own understanding—His God was the God of his forefathers. His God was the God that split the sea. His God was the God Who liberated His people from bondage and slavery in Egypt. His God was the God able to provide food from the sky, water from the rock, life from the dead. His God was the God Who told His people Who He was, and Who He is, and Who He will remain to be forevermore. He was the God Who said in Exodus 3:14 (English Standard Version, 2001), “I Am that I Am”, not the God who said, “I will be who you’d like me to be”, or “who you understand me to be” for that matter.
Imagine There’s No Heaven
One might like to imagine up a god for themselves and fashion this god in such a way that carries with it all the good attributes and promises of prosperity (which is what the altars of Baal were to its worshipers). One might like to imagine up a god that would without doubt come to the rescue in a manner (if at all) that suits its worshiper—but merely imagining something to be true does not make it true. Consider the lyrics of a very well-known song by John Lennon:
“Imagine there's no heaven. It's easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine all the people, livin' for today. Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion, too. Imagine all the people, livin' life in peace…you may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.”
We often debate and fight about whether God exists. However, a far more fruitful discussion to be had is considering what life might look like if God truly did not exist. What would happen if we really did manage to imagine God away? Interesting to note, to echo Dr. David Feddes’ observation, in the same song, John Lennon said, “Imagine no possessions”, yet when he died he was worth 500-million dollars. We, like John Lennon, can imagine a certain kind of lifestyle yet live contradicting it. Imagining murderers away does not make it so. It is tragically ironic that John Lennon was in fact, murdered.
What is Right in Our Own Eyes
I say all of that to say this, it is a lovely and wonderful thing that we are able to imagine and to dream, but imagining that there is no True King Who is ruling and reigning does not relieve us from the truth of it. It tends only to relieve us from the benefits of living beneath His reign, and by virtue of that, we “live”, or more appropriately, we kill ourselves into a state of chaos as we go about our business doing what is right in our own eyes. We do what we want, when we want, and how we want, just like they did before Elijah’s time in the Book of Judges. The final verse in the book, Judges 21:25 (English Standard Version, 2001) reads, “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in their own eyes.” The time period documented in the Book of Judges was arguably one of the worst to live in and it was as a result of forsaking God, and people doing what was right in their own eyes. They made up their own religion, formed and fashioned their own gods, and lived with utter disregard to the divine and to each other.
God Of Mercy
So when someone says to a brave friend in peril who is courageously, however blindly, seeking a god, “Hey, you need a higher power. Find a god. Any god. One of your own understanding. One that works for you”, I shudder with ancient echoes of stories of old. Not just any god will do. The Book of Judges is an extremely vivid offering of what it looks like when we decide to form for ourselves our own gods. In one grim story amongst many, we read about a man from the Tribe of Levi who butchered his concubine to pieces when he found her dead on his doorstep after giving her over to be gang raped just to protect himself from the men who wanted to violate him instead. These are the fruits of man doing what is right in his own eyes. Down the biblical timeline, I think again on the story that later unfolded on the summit of Mount Carmel. But I cannot chuckle, I cringe, and wonder in hope if my friends will find the One True Living God Who says, “I AM”, Who is able to heed the call for help and consume all that is on offer to burn up. I dread that they might cry out to a god fashioned from a moment for a moment, only to be left exposed and vulnerable because someone casually said, “you do you.”
Elijah claimed that there was no reality except the God of Israel, boldly underscoring monotheism to the people with possibly unprecedented emphasis. To this God I cry, God have mercy on us. You are Who You say You are.